HUSBANDS, LOVE YOUR WIVES — Ephesians 5:25-33


“Women don’t seem to have problems loving. It seems to be a natural thing, but when it comes to guys. It is different. It looks like the area husband has to work on is loving our wives…”
Click on the image above or the video below to listen to the message by Coach Arthur Peter in continuation on the passage in Ephesians about husbands and wives.


Ephesians 5:25-33 New King James Version (NKJV)

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her

First, notice that verse 25-32 is addressed to the husband and not the wife. This means wives this passage is between the husband and God. It is none of your business. You should never quote this passage to your husband. It is not for the wife and you can’t quote this passage to avoid submitting

Second, notice that God instructed the husband to love his wife, not the wife. You see if we guys are honest .. often loving our wives is not a natural thing. Women don’t seem to have problems loving. It seems to be a natural thing, but when it comes to guys. It is different. It looks like the area husband has to work on is loving our wives.

Very quickly once we are married we start focusing on other things and kind of forgetting our wives. Taking them for granted. It is not that we don’t love them. We do love them, but we forget to show them. So that is why this instruction. God is saying guys be sure to remember .. show your love and appreciation to your wife. Every day!

Third, now when you are honest guys and God tells you to love your wife. You are like, but how? What does it mean to love her? Although it is different for every woman generally this is how a woman feels loved.

1. Give her many hugs
2. Give her kisses
3. Make love with her (yippee!)
4. Tell her you love her (every day)
5. Do something special for her now and again .. like bring some flowers, chocolate or take her out for a date. Just you and her… no kids or buddies.
6. Listen to her without trying to fix her problems (she just wants someone to listen to her)

Summary make her feel special.

Fourth, notice that God is telling husbands to love their wife as Christ loved the church. So in other words .. husband has to be willing to give his life for her, that is how much we have to love her. Go all the way out for her.

So what does this mean .. when your wife has her tantrums, moods (period) and anger issues .. this is when you keep loving her. Just accept her as she is and keep loving her. Everyone has their issues and problems … 

This is the time when your wife needs you most. Give her a hug and tell her you love her. Give her a kiss and smile to her. Help her through her struggles by loving her.

You see as you keep loving her, what does the bible say. It will cleanse her and make her without spot and wrinkle. You see the more you love her the more loving she becomes. By loving her you are helping her to become without spot or wrinkle. 

Fifth, so when you love your wife it helps your wife and heals her from past wounds. Beside that you get a more loving wife, the more you love her.

Now just to set the record straight. Loving your wife doesn’t mean you accept everything she says and does. You see you are still the head and responsible for your family. We guys sometimes have a wrong understanding of what it means to love a person. You see when Eve ate the fruit .. sin didn’t enter yet … 

It was when the husband was afraid to stand up to her and say Eve this is wrong. The problem was not what Eve did. The problem was what Adam didn’t do .. he didn’t take responsibility as the head of the household.

If Adam would have stood up and not be a chicken. Afraid to confront Eve. But instead reprimand Eve for what she did, correct her behavior, we would still be living in the garden of Eden. (Gen. 3:6-7) 

So for example when your wife is being verbal (cush all kind of things or put you down) or physically abusive (slaps you or beats you) .. just because you love her doesn’t mean you have to accept that kind of behavior.

You are created in God’s image and nobody has to accept that kind of behavior. The same applies to wives.

If this happens correct your wife’s behavior and tell her you do not tolerate that kind of attitude. If she continues to ignore your corrections and doesn’t accept your leadership and keeps polluting your mind with garbage and not willing to accept your leadership (talking about years) .. get a divorce.

She is not worthy of your love. That marriage is not going to work. If the wife doesn’t accept the leadership of the husband it is not going to work. 

1. Addressed to the husband, not the wife
2. Show your wife you love her
3. How to love your wife
4. Love your wife as Christ loves the church
5. Loving your wife doesn’t mean accepting the wrong behavior.

Hope this was helpful.

For comments, questions or suggestions please contact me. Love to hear from you.

God bless!!

To view the notes for this message, please click the link: Husbands, love your wives — Notes in pdf

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